Intro

Hello world.

So here's the deal. I'm getting married. To the coolest girl ever. I asked her about two weeks ago, and she said yes, much to my relief. A lot of the reason that I asked her to marry me is that I feel like she and I have an honest, thorough, very real partnership. And what I mean by that is that we do things together very well. We're not the same person, but we do share the same values (oh that laden, heavy word). We have strengths and weaknesses that shore each other up and we allow those to exist.

We said we were going to have a long engagement, but since the proposal we've both been researching and planning and exploring possibilities like mad. We can't seem to stop ourselves. We're just both so excited, and we have so many ideas about what this day could be like and how it can symbolize this big, huge, surprisingly not scary thing that we're doing together.

Emphasis on 'both'. Here's the thing - I WANT to be involved in the wedding planning. And, thankfully, she wants me to be involved in it too. Neither of us are viewing this as 'her big day' but as 'our big day'. It's something we're doing together, and we want it to be about both of us. Sadly, all of the wedding things I've found on the web so far have been hugely bride-centric. The whole industry is centered around the idea that this is the bride's big day, her last hurrah as it were, a tradition that stems from the idea that after the big day she is going to subsume her identity into her husbands. This is pointed out beautifully in the article that inspired this blog, located here: http://www.mv-voice.com/morgue/2003/2003_02_21.oped.html

It seems like for those of us grooms who view our brides to be as equal partners (and I hope to all that's sacred that there's more than just me) there's very little out there by way of advice, assistance, support or encouragement. And that's why I've decided to do this little number. Hopefully it'll be found in searches, read and even contributed to by other guys like me - guys who were raised to think that women are people too, and that in getting married we aren't acquiring an awesome new toy, but are devoting ourselves to another person, because that person is the be all and end all as far as we are concerned.

I'll be posting here about my experiences, trials and joys in planning a wedding WITH my bride to be. Hopefully it'll be helpful for some other guys out there. Feel free to write and contribute!

Tomorrow - the last name issue.

BT